There is a teaching from Buddhism that uses the image of asecond arrow. If you are struck by a single arrow, you will feel pain where it strikes your flesh. But, if a second arrow strikes the same spot, your pint will not only double, it will increase tenfold.
Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that we are often responsible for the second arrow. Yes, we get hurt. But we greatly increase the pain by responding with fear, judgment and or anger. We ask, for example, "Will the pain ever go away?" We are angry about what has happened. And we may blame ourselves for being hurt.
Thich Nhat Hanh then suggests that part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify the pain by getting carried away in fear, anger and despair.
Of coures, this is not an easy task. But, compared with thrying to change the person who hurt us, it is something we can do. Takiing time to reflect on our reactions is a big step. Try it.
